I Get To

Burning lungs, the flush on my cheeks, tingling fingertips, the sound of the gravel crunching underneath my shoes, the feeling of conquering a goal...I remember it vividly, the first time I ran a mile without stopping.  It was on the prairie trail by the farm, a road I had traveled down thousands of times - on bike, on walking feet, on tractor tires and pickup wheels, but never on running legs until that day.  I remember getting to the end of the mile, turning back around so the farm was in my eyesight again, and throwing my hands in the air.  It was a huge deal to me, the kind of thing I can't even explain in words.  I was someone who prior to that July of 2010, could not run a tenth of a mile.  I had slowly and quite honestly, painfully, worked my way up to running a mile without stopping.  

From that point, I never looked back.  Never looked back on my previous unhealthy lifestyle but rather only looked forward to gaining more miles and more adventures and more of treating myself to the fulfillment of being healthy, strong, and active.  

I say all of this now after five years has gone by because today I ran 1.3 miles without stopping on a Montana prairie trail.  Burning lungs, the flush on my cheeks, tingling fingertips, the sound of gravel crunching underneath my shoes, the feeling of conquering a goal...it was all there again.  This time with the addition of a right knee and hamstring not feeling quite right but getting the job done.  

On April 11th, I tore my ACL on the very last run of the ski season on Liberty Bowl coming off the tram at Big Sky resort in MT.  Reconstructive surgery was on June 11th and I've been digging in and rehabbing ever since.  Right after the injury, all I could think was I just want to run again.  I didn't feel like myself without having the outlet I had used almost every single day for five years.  Quickly my perspective switched after the surgery to I just want to walk normal again.  Perspective is a beautiful thing really.  It's amazing to me how quickly we can be flipped to a new reality.  

Now, it's September 14th and I can run 1.3 miles on a prairie trail without stopping.  I'm right back to where I started yet I've made it so far at the same time.   

Discouragement can set in when I think of the long journey I still have to go through to be able to log the long runs again.  But I keep reminding myself I've been here before and I can get the job done.  I keep reminding myself it's more than worth it to keep pushing.  There are too many roads that need running, mountains that need hiking and skiing, and adventures that need conquering to not push past normal every day walking and functioning into the part of me that can look at a difficult physical challenge and know my body will rise to it.   

We can do hard things.  I get to do this hard thing again.  Get is an important word there because many times we aren't awarded the second chance.  I'll take this one and run with it.