A Poor Transitioner

I suffer from poor transitioning syndrome and it's a real thing because I swear it is.  Just ask my mom, as she struggles with it too.  Just ask my mom...what am I?  Five?  Trying to defend myself with throwing out the Momma Debi card.  I just feel she legitimizes the situation.  Symptoms of the PTS include becoming ridiculous when needing to change anything.  And when I say ridiculous, it means sometimes there is crying and sometimes there is laughing and sometimes there is curling up in a fetal position on the carpet and sometimes there is needing to be talked off the ledge and sometimes there is running around the house vacuuming.  

It doesn't matter if I'm transitioning to something fun, exciting, scary, new, old, challenging...really anything.  I can mourn the loss of a vacation before it even starts, imagining the transition back to real life.  It doesn't matter the situation; I get comfy in something and I don't like the change.  Right now, I live in two places and work in an entire state of places.  As you can imagine, that makes for a great deal of transitioning. 

You'd think I'd get over the PTS with all of this practice provided to me.

But, probably I'm not getting over it when I just found myself squeeze hugging Kiel and smelling his neck like I was never going to see him again. 

I tell him this is normal behavior.  

Someday I'll be better at the constant shifting required of us as adult humans.  I believe this phase in life was gifted to me to do just that - to teach me to roll with it and to sometimes leave dirty dishes in the sink. 

You'd think I was saying goodbye for a month for the way I'm acting right now, but in all reality I'll see him in two days for the Bison game.  

I Get To

Burning lungs, the flush on my cheeks, tingling fingertips, the sound of the gravel crunching underneath my shoes, the feeling of conquering a goal...I remember it vividly, the first time I ran a mile without stopping.  It was on the prairie trail by the farm, a road I had traveled down thousands of times - on bike, on walking feet, on tractor tires and pickup wheels, but never on running legs until that day.  I remember getting to the end of the mile, turning back around so the farm was in my eyesight again, and throwing my hands in the air.  It was a huge deal to me, the kind of thing I can't even explain in words.  I was someone who prior to that July of 2010, could not run a tenth of a mile.  I had slowly and quite honestly, painfully, worked my way up to running a mile without stopping.  

From that point, I never looked back.  Never looked back on my previous unhealthy lifestyle but rather only looked forward to gaining more miles and more adventures and more of treating myself to the fulfillment of being healthy, strong, and active.  

I say all of this now after five years has gone by because today I ran 1.3 miles without stopping on a Montana prairie trail.  Burning lungs, the flush on my cheeks, tingling fingertips, the sound of gravel crunching underneath my shoes, the feeling of conquering a goal...it was all there again.  This time with the addition of a right knee and hamstring not feeling quite right but getting the job done.  

On April 11th, I tore my ACL on the very last run of the ski season on Liberty Bowl coming off the tram at Big Sky resort in MT.  Reconstructive surgery was on June 11th and I've been digging in and rehabbing ever since.  Right after the injury, all I could think was I just want to run again.  I didn't feel like myself without having the outlet I had used almost every single day for five years.  Quickly my perspective switched after the surgery to I just want to walk normal again.  Perspective is a beautiful thing really.  It's amazing to me how quickly we can be flipped to a new reality.  

Now, it's September 14th and I can run 1.3 miles on a prairie trail without stopping.  I'm right back to where I started yet I've made it so far at the same time.   

Discouragement can set in when I think of the long journey I still have to go through to be able to log the long runs again.  But I keep reminding myself I've been here before and I can get the job done.  I keep reminding myself it's more than worth it to keep pushing.  There are too many roads that need running, mountains that need hiking and skiing, and adventures that need conquering to not push past normal every day walking and functioning into the part of me that can look at a difficult physical challenge and know my body will rise to it.   

We can do hard things.  I get to do this hard thing again.  Get is an important word there because many times we aren't awarded the second chance.  I'll take this one and run with it.    

Coffee and Combines

I've learned from the past year of travel working there are certain normal living in a house and waking up in said house to get ready for work routine items you immensely miss.  One being really great fresh coffee that doesn't end after one cup.  Hotel coffee is for the birds and when you buy one at a shop, it ends at the bottom of the paper cup - leaving you to want more.  Now, the mornings when I get to walk out to the kitchen to pour into a real mug out of a full pot, I almost do a happy dance jig right there.  All the coffee!  Give me all the coffee!  Shimmy.  Shake.  Boom.

Another item missed from the getting ready for work at home routine is changing my mind on what I want to wear.  You know, sometimes you just feel an outfit and sometimes you just don't.  It can't be planned.  When I first started this gig, I would pack a couple of choices because I know this to be true.  But now, that concept is entirely too exhausting after so much packing and unpacking.  I make the decision, go with it, and figure it's a good life lesson to sometimes get what I get and not throw a fit.

There isn't a real clever tie in here to the next train of my thought.  

I heard word from Momma Debi last night they finished the wheat harvesting which means all that remains is flax and soybeans.  There's rain in their forecast so this is good news, real good news!

There's nothing better than a combine selfie from a few weeks ago to celebrate.  Well, I'm sure there's lots of better things - like wine, chocolate, beer, chips, salsa, streamers, glitter, a small flag on a wooden stick to wave, etc... But go with me.

He was helping his friends harvest and I have been in many combines in my life but never have I sat next to someone I also want to make out with so there you have it.  

Also because harvest pictures are some of my very favorite, I tend to get a bit snap happy.  Apparently what was going on here was Kiel saying to my nephew Gus, "Just wave to her.  It'll make her go away."

I found this out later and deep down I'm beyond happy I did not go away.  The rule breaker in me is happy I bucked the mold.

Cheers to the long weekend.  May it be filled with spending time in the slightly chilly air surrounded by the starting to crisp up leaves while wearing a cute sweater to wear when it dips to a tad too chilly.

If you are a man, I hope it still involves a cute sweater.  Never underestimate the happiness a gray or cream cable knit can bring. 
 

Scissors It Is

No grizzly sighting today.  Maybe he has moved on to juicier pastures.  

The latest words of wisdom from Kiel on the manner were, "Ooooooooo...I bet Bear is thinking she smells like popcorn, iced lattes, and good cheese."  

Here's where I admit his musing is fairly accurate.  Add dry roasted, salted almonds and the nail would be hit on the head.  

In other news of the evening, I just finished weed-whacking around the house with a scissor.  It's because I'm a perfectionist, and when I start something it gets all the way done.  It's also because I am stubborn.  It's not because I don't know how to run a weed-whacker.  I grew up on a farm and have spent more hours with a Stihl than I have sharpening pencils.  Changing the string and mixing the gas are on my resume.  Rest assured, use an actual weed-whacker I can.  The reason I chose a scissor this round was because I potentially already broke a water pump early this morning when the sunrise looked like this - the flag blowing in the wind and the pump burning up.  

The thought of ruining two things in one day was too much for this prideful heart to manage.  I should say potentially ruining again here.   

While I was crouched down snip snipping, I thought to myself, as vehicles drove by on the gravel road, please let this look like I'm simply picking weeds out of the landscaping rocks, not that I'm using a scissors to cut the grass around the edging.  That's a reputation one might never live down.  

The verdict is in and a scissors works.  The job is done.  I can rest easy.  

Here's the precise pretty sunset picture I took the other night while the neighbors were shooting in the air and yelling at the grizzly bear.  Aren't you glad that tall(ish) grass around the landscaping edging is now cut?  I know I sure am.    

Sunrise and sunset, you've now been covered for both.  

Montana House: Story One

My first day of being alone here in Montana and there's a grizzly bear in the neighborhood.  He was shooed away from one garage only to be found in the next garbage.  Two of the neighbors did some chasing and some gun shot firing, in the air not at the bear, and that grizzly wasn't fazed a bit.  It's like he has found his groove here.  

After I finished working, I put on my tennies to go for a walk.  I went to see if the one neighbor still was babysitting the other neighbor's dog named Lefty to steal him to take with me.

I think this may be getting confusing.  So far I have discussed four neighbors and only one has doubled up - bear chaser and Lefty babysitter is the same person.  Also, I feel like maybe I should explain that Lefty is a little bit of everyone's dog; he just frolics about and settles in wherever people are outside.  Before the great knee surgery of 2015, he liked to go on long runs with me too.  This is why I felt okay with stealing him.  

Alright back to the story.  

Tennies on.  Walked to the neighbor's house.  Found the neighbor talking to the other neighbor about just doing the shooting, chasing, and attempting to get the grizzly to find a new home routine.  Casually mentioned I wanted to steal Lefty for a walk.  

Was quickly returned with, "You can walk my golf course instead.  One loop around is a quarter mile and that way you'll be close by."  

I interpreted this to mean that way you'll be close by so the bear won't actually eat you, he'll just try.  I'm dramatic like that.   

So I walked their golf course around and around.  Then I went to water trees and do other yard work.  Then Kiel called and I told him all about the grizzly.  Then I went back to yard puttering in the pretty sunset-like air.  

Then I sent this text to Kiel, "I just heard shots again.  And yelling."

To which he replied, "Stay by the house."

To which I replied, "I am and I have bear spray with me."  

Then I texted him a pretty picture of the sunset against the trees and house because that's what I do in these situations.  Take a picture.  

Then I grabbed a book to sit outside and read.  

I figure if I'm going to be a Montana girl, then I best be okay with a roaming grizzly.  Even if we are fairly certain we heard him eating a cow in the coulee across the road earlier this summer.  Whatever.  

This is a grizzly bear, but not the one in this neighborhood.  Just for clarification, we don't have nearly this many broken down trees.  We don't have any actually, just little baby trees that we water to get to grow, grow, grow.  It feels like a full time job.     

This is an elk.

Again, not in our exact neighborhood as we don't have a lake out front either.  Here's the good news folks...I haven't stopped with loving to state the obvious.  

This is a color scheme I would like in a kitchen one day.  Copper!  I need not say more. 

This is a bison.  Go Bison!  

Here's the other good news folks...I haven't stopped being entirely random either.