Another Fall in the Books

I'm not going to lie.  I'm sitting next to a Christmas tree right this second, one that I put up over the weekend.  It has sparkly lights and it's making my heart happy and I don't feel bad that I jumped the gun on the twinkle this year.  I can blame a great many things on this early red and green.  The blame list follows, in no particular order. 

1.  I moved.  Moving creates this insane feeling of must have everything organized and must try to find some calm.  And apparently, in my case, must throw the chaos of pine needles and lights that don't work in the mix.

2.  Carla (Kiel's mom) gave me boxes of Christmas hand me downs.  This doesn't mean the same as getting hand me downs from most, because Carla is the queen of red and green.  She put up 23 trees this year.  Yes, there are 23 full size trees already up in her house and it's the beginning of November.  

3.  Tomorrow I start traveling and won't be home until much into December.  Selfishly, I didn't want decorating to be on the return list.  Rather, I wanted to walk in the front door and say ahhhhhhh and where's the hot cocoa with Peppermint Schnapps?  

4.  My family is celebrating Christmas on Saturday of Thanksgiving week this year.  For weeks, I've been preparing my gift for the exchange so I feel it must be December.  No?  Oh.  

5.  I received the always cute invite to the annual Cookie Exchange brunch at Danae's earlier this past week.  There's nothing like planning what you will make ten dozen of to get you in the holiday spirit.  I found the cutest treat bags to put my goody in this year too; they make me say yes!  Because they are tiny and festive and it just doesn't get better than that combination. 

6.  This is a mountain house in Montana.  It screams and begs to have wreaths hanging on the front porch and wooden Santas riding reindeer, bears, and ducks on the mantel.  It just does,  you would understand if you were here. 

There you have it, the list of blame. 

Christmas is up and I'm saying goodbye to another fabulous fall season that included this hike to the second highest waterfall in Oregon - Salt Creek Falls.  I am saying goodbye to fall but that doesn't mean I want icy roads for travel, okay roads?  Work with me.   

Haystack for the Heart Picture

My cowboy boots pushed the sand down with a squish, my one hand held my camera and the other was being held, the sun warmed my face as we made our way to the water edge while my eyes tried to take it all in.  

A lighthouse to the right, Haystack Rock to the left, the blaring yellow light in the middle, the sound of the waves lapping in, a toddler running in his diaper into the water being chased by his barefoot dad...

Dear Bird,

Thank you for flying across at just the right time.  I appreciate you.

Sincerely,
Me

Dinner with blankets wrapped around our legs to take the chill off the evening air, a glass of white wine each, fresh seafood, and this sunset as the view.  There was a time when I would have spent most of the experience trying to capture it all through my camera lens.  There is value in creating memories that can be looked at in the future, but there is also value in snapping one quick picture and then setting the camera down to create memories in the heart instead.  I remember watching a movie when I was a teenager.  I don't remember the movie title but I do remember this part - it has stuck with me and for some reason, it's something I think of often now.  A mom was watching her son and husband interact with each other and she said with her hand over her chest, "My heart just took a picture."  

My heart took many pictures that evening in Oregon on the coast and I will forever cherish them in the same way I cherish this orange and blue. 

Currently

Currently I'm...

Sitting in a rocker in the front foyer looking out at the sunrise watercolor strokes through the wreath pine edges.

Sipping coffee from the pot I had to MacGyver with a toothpick to brew this morning - I guess the small plastic piece was indeed important that broke off in my hands. 

Reflecting on packing up my entire house on Saturday and moving here on Sunday; it was a crazy whirlwind but I'm like a kid in a candy store having all my things in one place again.  

Thanking my kick-ass family for stepping in and helping me get the job done - could not, could not have pulled that off without them.  My sister-in-law saved me on Saturday, pure and simple.  A crew came in after deer hunting to load the trailer in the dark night.  My cousin Austin drove here and back basically in one day.  What would we do without family?  Turns out, I don't want to know.   

Wondering if the large area rug in the kitchen is too much.  

Keeping a balance of duck, geese, and elk art with my wonky vintage tendencies to tack aprons to the wall, sew buttons onto fabric and frame it, and hang pictures with glitter clothespins.  I believe in this house representing us both...the things we love, which means I'm determined to pull off the aesthetic of woodsy mountain deer meets vintage farm zebra.   

Telling myself that future me will worry about all of the winter travel in and out of here for work.  If I worry about it before it happens, it's a futile exercise.  

Remembering how the notion of actually saying in my mind, "Future you will worry about xyz..." truly works.  It's an exercise I picked up somewhere along the way and it keeps me from spinning on things that might not even happen.  Future you will worry about xyz too...give it a whirl.  

Pondering hooking up my big computer all on my own.  This is coming from the girl who once had her best friend's husband come over to hook up the DVD player.  I'm good at a great many things, hooking up technology simply isn't one of them.  But I want my pictures and my pictures live on the big one.  

Feeling thankful.  Really, really thankful.  Life is not perfect because nothing ever is, but my favorite orange bench is here and I have the best person ever to share it with.  

Warming up to the holiday season; I've hung a wreath on the front door and am looking forward to spending Thanksgiving at the farm, a little time in early December in Arizona, followed by Christmas in the mountains.  I'm ready.  The boxes are unpacked and I'm ready for the best time of the year.  

Thinking about how I'm not as physically strong as I used to be; there was a time when I could lift and carry pretty much anything.  It was the farm upbringing, I'm sure.  I don't know if it's my age, the surgery I had this summer, or the fact that I don't get to go to Muscle Pump with Sara at the YMCA anymore...but I've definitely wimped out a bit.  It's ironic however, I feel the strongest I've ever been mentally.  Now, why can't I get that Christmas tree box up the freaking stairs? 

Reminiscing about the Oregon trip and these captures from Crater Lake.  To say it was breathtaking is an understatement and it's worth adding to your list of places to visit.  Please make sure you make reservations way ahead of time for Crater Lake Lodge, unlike us.  We tend to book flights and hotels the week of travel because that's just the season we are in.  The coffee by the fire at the lodge was our way of pretending we were staying and not driving.  

Multnomah Falls and an Ah-ha

If you give an Amy the highest waterfall in Oregon, she'll take pictures of the pretty sunlight filtering through the green and starting to turn gold leaves and she'll love the way the blue water looks behind the prickly branches.  But first she'll take care of business.  Because if you give an Amy the trail that goes to the top of said waterfall, she'll feel its her mission in life to get to the top as fast as possible.

Ironically, I didn't even realize what was happening until we finally reached the last switchback and I turned around to see Kiel with sweat running down his face.  "Did you decide we had to race up that?"  

"Well yes.  I guess I did."  

It wasn't a conscious decision but rather my body taking over as I felt the first shortness of breath and sting in my legs.  I crave that kind of challenge; it makes me push to the next little milestone.  Get to that tree.  Now to that bend.  See that person?  Catch them.  

It takes me over, whatever it is.  

Maybe it could be called a goal mindset or competitive or maybe even obsessive - call it what you want, it's something.  

Once to the top and after the call out of Race Hike 2015, I took my camera from Kiel and started enjoying the little things and the big things all around, the beautiful.  Yes, he carried my camera up because he's real good like that.  

I felt my breath return to even and the rush of conquering was tucked quietly in my back pocket - or at least it would have been had my pants had pockets.  Rather, it was tucked in my being.  

On the way down I lagged behind, noticing and capturing.  We got the giggles several times recounting the trip up and the looks from strangers that now made sense to me after hearing Kiel's side of watching me charge up the trail.  The looks of okay then, you are just doing this thing aren't you? 

I am a charger.  It's just a part of who I am.  It's why I can unpack my kitchen into an already stocked kitchen and have it all sorted and organized in a matter of hours.  I start to feel the shortness of breath...

Wait?  Maybe I'm just neurotic.  I can't not finish.  Yep, that's more it than anything.  No breaks here, unless it's for a slice of cheese mid-sorting the beans in the pantry.    

Adulthood or Something Like It

When do you know how to really be an adult?

I remember lying in my bed as a teenager with thoughts rolling through my head like...

How do taxes work?  Will I ever have a clue how to do them?  What if I don't do my taxes right, then what happens?

Who decides things about insurance?  Do you always just have an insurance man come to your dining room table and hammer it out for the year or is that more of a Dad thing?  What do you do if you aren't Dad?   

What will I ever do if the furnace breaks, freeze?  

Please tell me I wasn't a completely neurotic teenager and you all had these types of items running through your mind as well.  Or at the very least, it happened to you once college hit.  No?  Twenty-five then!  It had to start happening at twenty-five! 

The good news is - I now take care of my taxes, insurance, and have successfully handled a new hot water heater, which I feel is close to the heater of my previous thoughts.  

Does this mean I'm an actual adult?  Probably.  I mean, I am thirty-two.  

BUT.  

Every once in awhile something comes out of right field where I think, "Alright.  Who takes care of this for me?  Oh.  I do?  Shoot."  

Or every once in awhile my mom stands in my kitchen as we are packing it up for the big move and says something absolutely genius to my little sister, "Emily, we are going to put each piece of china in a Ziploc bag.  That way, it won't break on the trip and we aren't wasting a bunch of paper.  She can still use the bags once the china is unpacked."  

That's an entirely different level of adulthood right there.  That is most likely described best as momma-hood - specifically, MommaDebi-hood.  

Someday.  Someday I'll be as cool.  

Do you get that smart when you have kids?  I'm betting that's the ticket.  I don't even have a dog; I just claim the neighbors as my own because he loves me.  Lefty, not my neighbor - let's not start any rumors.  

One on a Sticky Note

I clicked apply, saw the ridiculous spinning wheel, and proclaimed with a quick wave of my hand, "And folks, this is where I simply walk away for a few moments and practice my patience."  I did just that too - walked between two of the tables as we all shared a laugh.  When I turned around to make my way back to the front, the wheel was gone and the report was loaded.   

A few minutes later when everyone was back to working through the work on their own, a lovely first grade teacher handed me a sticky note which read, "Patience is the ability to idle your engine when you feel like stripping your gears."  It was written in perfect first grade teacher handwriting and I thought to myself, okay I get it - here is yet another reminder.  I smiled at her and we nodded in our heads in a mutual understanding.    

 

Patience.  It isn't easy and it's especially not easy for this girl.  

It's like Momma Debi has said to me time and time again.  

"We can all have patience.  But real patience is not just waiting, but waiting graciously."  

The universe gave me a sign today - quite literally one on a sticky note.  

I'll take my hint.